Would it kill me to be a manager?

This is actually my second writing of this post. Sadly, I had my first version basically ready to go when I clicked on “Save draft”, something happened and an hour of writing disappeared. Hopefully, my annoyance from that won’t translate into a grumpy or incoherent second try.This post will contain two parts. First I’ll be a bit critical of my recent work environment. While I do believe my criticisms are valid, I think my response may have been wrong. That’s part two. In a nutshell, technical direction is decided and influenced by the managers and individual contributors are left out. Not what I would have liked. On the other hand, would it have killed me to be a manager? On the contrary, there are large aspects of it that I would have enjoyed. My criticisms:

• In recent times, my group has embarked on some grand directions while missing some necessary technical nuance 1. The ideas are sound, but there were some aspects that could have been done better:
  • We tried to do everything at once. This meant that several of us were spinning our wheels while the more preliminary dust was settling. Dust we depended on.
  • We didn’t have the needed connections between the people in the trenches. The folks implementing the changes didn’t know the folks receiving the work. This continues to be too true today.
  • Given our role helping projects tapeout chips 2, there are aspects that don’t seem necessary. At the same time, the reported successes were often fantasy.
• Policy is decided by the managers. That’s where the discussion happens. Having a single direct report earns one a seat in the room during these discussions.
• The chosen directions weren’t communicated very effectively. 3
• There are resources available only to managers. One example that comes to mind is “FLM Days”. 4 I’ve gotten multiple reports that much of what happens during these seminars is quite interesting. The relevant learnings are supposed to be passed down, but this often doesn’t happen. 5
• In the last couple years, there are two people that were surely two, possible three grades junior to me. 6. They are managers so they got to help decide. I didn’t.

So why didn’t I just become a manager? Would I have given up everything I’ve loved about the job? Surely, I would have gotten the opportunity had I asked. 7 Reasons I’d have enjoyed it:

• I like teaching. 8
• I enjoy mentoring. I’ve been around for a while. I like sharing my experiences. Anyone who knows me, doesn’t come to me with a question if all they want is a two minute answer. I prefer to answer as completely as I can.
• I like participating in the policy discussions. I’m good at questioning the status quo, at questioning assumptions.
• I could have help improved communication 9

So why didn’t I? The biggest reason is probably that management is viewed as “The Dark Side” by those of us who really love the technical part of the job. Management tends not to include the wiz programmers. If you can’t do,… coach.  Is this a valid reason to not do something? It shouldn’t be. If someone refuses to wear a particular pair of jeans because it’s not the right brand, they’d be viewed a pretentious. Is this different? Still, this is a trap I allowed myself to fall into. I really enjoy coding. I enjoy problem solving. I didn’t want to lose that. Early in my career 10 I observed a couple managers who actually were very good technically. The problem with them was that they were unable to balance their individual deliverables with the needs of the people reporting to them. Being a manager can mean getting less done overall. I basically rejected the idea of management without giving it fair consideration.